What do you get if you cross two sheep, a circus monkey, a few talking parrots, peacocks and about a hundred chimpanzees?

Answer: Chimfunshi Wildlife Sanctuary, tucked away in the depths of the forest in Zambia’s Copperbelt, just near the border with the DRC. And it was to this remarkably un-touristy attraction that we made our way on our last weekend in Zambia.

In fact making our way there was (as always in Africa) its own little adventure, involving a crowded but entertaining 3-hour bus trip, an overnight in the town of Kitwe (Kylie and I couchsurfed with an Italian woman and her precocious 10-year old daughter) and another 3-hour drive the next morning during which time Ninza, aged 4, ate his body weight in snacks and we marvelled at how robust the average car is to survive such a sustained pummelling on African ‘roads’.

After turning off the main road and bouncing along a dirt track for 18km we arrived at Chimfunshi. Stepping out of our vehicles we quickly met Moffat, an ex-pet monkey now roaming free at the sanctuary. Almost as quickly we took a dislike to Moffat as he scampered up anyone and everyone in an effort to snatch any food he could find, leaving scratches down Kylie’s arm and little Nachilla without her apple. After another 10 minutes or so we managed to coax Lana (who had now stopped screaming) out of the car and into the open…

Soon we were taking a quick tour of the orphanage with Dominic who’d worked there for 20 years. We met peacocks, ducks, geese, parrots – as well as two overly-friendly sheep. Apparently these sheep were given to the orphanage from a well meaning donor after the death of Billy the hippo who had wandered freely round the sanctuary for years after being rescued as a baby. The wry smile on Dominic’s face hinted at his opinion of having a couple of smelly sheep around instead of a hippo.

We watched as the adolescent chimps were fed. This caused the chimps much excitement – and when they get excited/worked-up they are quite honestly terrifying! But each chimp has a (usually very sad) story and the workers know each chimp by name and nature. For example we saw Toto who was rescued from circus where he had developed an addiction to cigarettes and alcohol. If ever there was an advert against smoking and drinking, it was the sight of Toto, thin, greying and obviously struggling, looking twice his age. We also met Milli, who had been domesticated (not that chimps can ever be fully domesticated) and taught to serve beer to customers in a Tanzanian bar. She had two blankets and each night would lay one down, lie on it and then pull the other one over her before going to sleep. Some of the others are particularly cheeky, and enjoy blowing raspberries. There is also a group that like to throw stones at the spectators, and take great delight in shattering car windows.

Some of the chimps have learnt how to escape the enclosure by finding a fallen tree or branch and putting it up against the electric fence. When we asked our guide how they discover that a chimp has escaped, he said ‘Oh, that’s easy – the other chimps tell us.’ Chimps are all tell-tales, apparently! They start to make a different sound if there is an escapee, and sit looking out of the fence in the direction that the culprit has run.

Finally we got to hang out with baby Jue, still in nappies (literally). Jue has been raised in the house and is now convinced he’s a human and shows no interest in being a chimp! After the screeching and aggression of the older chimps it was lovely to play with an adorable bundle of fur that just wanted to hug everyone! Although Ninza wasn’t a huge fan….

The drive back mostly involved giggling at the contortionist positions Safila could get herself into and still remain fast asleep, and trickle-feeding Martin a constant stream of sugary snacks to keep him awake as he drove. It was an excellnt end to our fantastic stay in Zambia.

Oh, and on the way home we spotted a man cycling along with TWO goats on the back of his bike!